19 September 2015

The Golden Garmin Lama

It was raining Thursday morning and I dislike cycling in the rain so I decided to start my comeback two days sooner than originally intended but I have still managed to give myself a 4 week break from running.
Just a steady run around the lake 5.3km for starters, followed by the same on Friday. Knees don't get any better for replacing running with cycling! Ooh! Friday I thought I'd try an antiinflammatory to see if I could concentrate on seeing if the hip is still an issue. It is, but very much in the background and I know its when I start loading the training that the true test will come.
Mike Trees will be here in early October , we will do a parkrun and a Masters 3000m and one other road event so I need to get back in action just to train with the guy. Mike has been injured himself but managed to train for 6 weeks before the World Master's in Lyon and get 5th in the M50 5000m and pulled out a stunner 4;17 for bronze in the 1500m behind the impirious David Heath who stands as the all time great for M50 800 and 1500.
Treesey brought a tear to my eye with that performance, I'd fallen asleep watching le tour but woke up to see his wife's Rieko's race video. You couldn't believe what you were seeing, sure Heathy was sublime but to see Mike take it on like he did still moistens the eye when I think of it, will post up link herehttps://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10153555211853923&id=595983922&_rdr
It was the second time this winter Treesey had shocked me, back in the UK he'd run a 3 in 9:39 and had gone up to Manchester to race Andy Green over another 3000 how's Greeney was injured and was only able to offer trackside support. Anyway Mike pulls out all the stops and runs a blinder 9;15 !
I could not believe it, he asked me to guess how he went, I'll see if I can find the messenger exchange and post it here.

Having him coming to town shortly is all the motivation I need to get back into it, as November brings us together again in Tokyo for the Sween Green Trees  showdown! And November also brings the year countdown to M55 World Master's in Perth !  I have been counting down for at least two years already!
Finally able to run in my latest Adidas Energy Boost !
Peter Reeves will love them too as they are a Golden Lama colour!
I said on Strava that they are so loud that Jimmy Savile (the horrific pervert  DJ) wouldn't look a miss in them!
I love them, they are cheap and great to run in.


The Divine reveller said...

Auguries , soothsayers , and astrologers were consulted recently with the appearance by divine revelation of holy script on the Garmin Lama's blog attributed some suspect to his holiness Ronald Tenzin Rinpoche Peters or the Master as he is more simply known by those who follow the machinations of the unfathonable story which inspired that best seller to human perseverance and ingenuity , The Mr. Garmin Story . The master had us contemplate the role of shot putting as a metaphor for life and existential human suffering . The putt itself is a symbol for wholeness . We lift it in an unnatural posture to the nape of the neck . This symbolises how man strains with futility against the natural order of things . Hercules performing a somewhat useless labour for the gods . Perched precariously with this leaden weight balanced with outstretched fingers , the putter , as he is referred by , will perform a ritual dance across a sacred cement circle . This dance is crucial to success . To heave the putt a sufficient distance this dance is performed well only after hours of dedicated practise and meditation . At the end of this dance the ball is released or putted . Finally it is measured . Measurement is the final arbiter of success or failure . The moral therefore , if we are to take this holy script at face value , is that the path to enlightenment can be found via taking up this obscure and some say ludicrous activity and rather than question it , embrace it . Mankind has for eons sought to find the answer and meaning to life and perhaps this is the answer to that ageless quest . The Master himself believes that to find true contentment in life one must age grade at beyond 90% in the Marathon and 90% in the the shot putt . The master has confirmed by subtle and unsubtle reference that this is his goal and we should follow his example . This message he claimed was delivered to him by the mysterious tattooed lady who appeared as a guiding angel sent by divine providence when he had been struck lame by those mischievous gods who delight in inflicting misery and suffering on we poor mortals with the goal of deflecting us from finding what is the purpose and meaning of life . So take up your putts and practice . Do your best . You cannot do more . That is the advice of the Garmin Lama . Listen to the Master , Rinpoche Ronnie he advises and steel yourself to the task . Age graded challenges in future will be decided by a combination of run and putting . This will certainly bring those arboreal menaces the Green Tree Twins back to the field and we can thank the master himself for putting us back in the right direction to enlightenment .

Literally literal said...

Listen you (Robot). Didn't i tell you that when i was writing DI ZI GUI that you weren't to add all that flowery language and read all that mystical nonsense into what i wrote. Well the same applies to any comments i make on the Larma's site (By Geez Larma is a tolerant soul).

Talk about struggling against the futility of the of the natural order of things: more like an innocent shot putter straining against a disobedient, malfunctioning Robot. To make matters worse for this mere mortal: said Robot has a lexicon that leaves most inferior models far behind and an imagination that lays to rest the idea that artificial intelligence cannot compete with humans. Not only that, it is rare for any Robot to understand the nuances of language.

Know this Robot. For bogans like i is: metaphors are confusing. A rose is a rose, a robot is a robot and that is all there bloody well is to it. Metaphors are a curse. Oh wait a.. doesn't matter.

I don't even like similes. They are like a box of poison snakes... Damn it Robot. Now look what you made me do Robot. My two pet bugbears...in one comment no less.

Now Robot i have to get back to my main tasks at hand. My putting and resisting being sucked into the narcissistic vortex where everyone is perfect; every one is a legend; where pretty boy runners somehow become even prettier and the god-ugly ones passable; where and every runner posts a picture of his or her shoes and kit. BFW. A place we old-schoolers call Facebook (but will eventually find our oldselves floundering around trying to make sense of it all). For now i will stand transfixed whenever i see my own self in the mirror admiring my shot-putters body - my Arnie like features.

A Robot of your infinite knowledge might help me -although i doubt seeing as you refused to train me in the putting of the shot. Every so often i see deep in the mirror, past my beautiful image, i see a skinny gnarly old man. He has a sternness that is sort of intimidating and at the same time a gentleness that is comforting. Every time i seriously consider joining social media he says- nay he bellows: "Take a bloody good hard bloody look at yourself Ronnie." I can see how pretty i am. I am not being delusional. Am I?The mirror doesn't distort - like Facebook. I am so confused Robot. I look really hard and i am still just as pretty as ever. Is that gnarly old dude using a metaphor of some sort?

David: Mike Trees is more motivational that Arnie....? Thankless world. You could have at least humoured and old man. How about this quote from Master Buddha: "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell." So give yourself an upper cut:). I took the Buddha's sage advice once, gave myself the best upper cut i could muster (living in my literal world can be hard) and when i finally woke up, i was a standing in front of a mirror taking advice from a real legend. Perhaps you could encourage your humble,number one disciple, Robot, to take Buddha's advice too (:.

Best wishes all,

See you next time i am down this way.

Lusty Lucy said...

I couldn't agree more with you Ronnie . That Robot is a menace . Why David doesn't just erase his nonsensical garbage is beyond me . Tolerance has its limits . David thinks that by ignoring this silicon misfit that he will simply go away . Grow tired and fade into the garbage bin of historically failed prototypes is his best hope . I say to David all the time , especially when we're feeding those disgusting Dugong of his , to only allow sensible informed comment onto his blog like you see on other runner's Facebook pages . What are the Green Tree Twins to make of all of this . Mercilessly tormented as they are . It's not a good image of the sunburnt country . Pom baiting is so yesterday . I loved that story of the tattooed lady who rescued you and I think that may have been my Aunt Gertrude . The car interior fits and she's always rescuing stranded broken down runners . That's how I met David . When he was run over on that roundabout trying to force his right of way over that 10 tonne Mack Truck . She helped pick him up ( what was left of him) . To think David came back from that . Inspirational . What has the robot done to compete with that . Nothing . So good on you Ronnie . The voice of well informed common sense can be deafening at times . As for shot putting advice I doubt if the the Robot can help you there . But David said his new book soon to be released , Beyond the Mr.Garmin Story will have a chapter dedicated to shot putting . As well as a chapter on rogue black holes and the menace they pose to an unsuspecting public feed on a relentless diet of meaningless platitudes and glib one liners .

Promoted story said...

When the Garmin Lama goes shot putting he uses only highest quality Scottish Acme shot putts made of the toughest Highland steel which come in a wide range of sporting colours . With an Acme ball you can really feel the difference . They actually feel much lighter to the touch than a conventional putt . They go further and for far less effort . They're aerodynamically designed to cope with all extremes of weather . This month they come (with no extra charge) with a Garmin Lama satellite tracking device that gives you an automatic and accurate reading whenever you putt your Acme ball . The Acme putt comes with a complete user's guide for those scrawny marathon types who usually have a lot of trouble coping with your average IAAF type approved putt . It explains clearly how to pick it up without dropping it on your toes and how best to take a selfie of yourself putting it to post on Facebook for all your friends to appreciate and droll over . So what are you waiting for ? It's summer and that means Athletic season especially for a lot of you old geriatrics and ten pound poms . Just say the Garmin Lama sent you and if you can say, " Roo plus lake " without smiling you'll get an extra yen percent discount . Talk about unbelievable value .

Petrie Pete said...

It's October 3rd this Saturday and no need to remind readers of this blog that means Golden Gama Lama Day . Fans on the Northside of the river are embracing the day like never before and this year festivities kick off with an inaugural park run in the GL's honour at the aptly named Sweeney Reserve . From there the carnival moves on to Bell Stadium where the Garmin Lama is sponsoring the Super Ronnie Cup . This is an age graded Master's shot putting competition and an open Thong throwing event for allcomers . The GL explains , " this year I thought we'd try something different . Usually we have a park run where the normal inaugural park run 'rent a crowd' turn up with their prams, strollers and guide dogs and I predictably win the age graded competition and the masses are happy . But this year I thought we'd add a more serious and unpredictable element to the day with a shot putting competition . Let's face it lots of youngsters are turned off the sport of park running not wanting to look all gnarled and scrawny like the Robot . It isn't a good look at all . Through a well balanced program of total body fitness and sound genetics I've managed to avoid that look myself but I think it's a positive development to encourage the younger brigade to lift weights and develope all round body strength . I'm always telling my younger fans that I wasn't born with this Adonis like body physique but had to work hard at chiseling it away from very ordinary bedrock . I'm not sure with all my media engagements whether I can make the event myself but I've donated a perpetual trophy for the occasion that can be competed for annually . I've dubbed it the Big Ronnie . I've asked Con Dimauro to fill in for me if I can't make it . Personally I'm very excited and I know that the Green Tree Twins are keen to settle on just who was the better school boy athlete with a best of three of three throws with the old shot putt . " Certainly sounds like a great family day out . Best to arrive early is this correspondent's advice .

Timber Top News said...

Petrie park run exceeded all expectations when the man of the hour , the Garmin Lama himself , turned up at the newly christened Sweeney Field of Dreams much to the delight of the gathered masses . It was expected that professional GL impersonator Con Dimauro would fill in on the day but once the gun sounded it was clear this was the real deal himself heading the field on the challenging North Pine River circuit . It was staggering to behold that this man who predates the Beatles , the Apollo Moon missions and the Cuban Missile crisis not to mention personal computers was leading generations X ,Y and Z a merry chase over hill and dale with the final result never in doubt . An easy win both across the line and on age grading against a crack field . Did we expect less ? Could we have asked for more ? Those that once challenged his supremacy earlier in the year now just faceless numbers lost in the roll call of the Petrie faithful numbering over 400 who turned out to celebrate Golden Garmin Lama Day . However the real excitement of the day was the Garmin Lama sharing his extensive knowledge of the art of shot putting which the Scotsman has embraced in his new holistic approach to overall physical fitness and to promote his image of the new renaissance Man equally adept on the park running cement as he is with handling the eight kilo shot put . The GL ( as he is fondly known on the park running circuit) is always challenging his followers to embrace new challenges and experiences and is constantly reinventing himself while at the same time remaining true to his core values . As he states in his book Beyond the Mr. Garmin Story , " in adversity show defiance , in the race show endurance , in victory show magniminity " . What an inspiration . One green tree doesn't a forest make but rather the measure of the timber is in the craftman's skill in working the grain to suit his purpose .

Forest Weekly said...

The Park running community were abuzz with excitement this week with the arrival in town of Mike Trees , the performance half of the infamous Green Tree twins who is set to challenge Australia's adopted son , the Garmin Lama , at his preferred event the weight throw . These two Leviathans of the phemonally successful park running movement that has swept both the civilised and uncivilised worlds are set to battle it out once again to decide just who was the more accomplished English school boy cross country runner . Mike Trees , or Michael T as he prefers to go by these days , was quick to fan the fires of this decades old rivalry when he spoke candidly to the press . "The GL and I go back a long way . I remember when he first came down from Glasgow on a sporting scholarship to our exclusive and incredibly snobbish private school . He turned up first day at training wearing his kilt so you can imagine he was frightfully bullied and given a terrible time . But of course it was the making of him . Nothing like a pinch of bastardisation to stiffen the competitive sinews and give you that extra bit of mongrel you need to become the Global phenomenon the GL clearly is . I've read David's book (who hasn't) and although he's changed the names to avoid having his arse sued we all know who he's referring to in chapter 24 which is why I'm here ". when asked to elaborate Michael T needed little prompting but such was his pent up emotion that he reverted to his native tongue of Manx and buggered if anyone knew what he was going on about . Certainly old scores will be settled this weekend with a best of three throws with the 8 kilo ball and chain known as the weight throw . A more composed Michael T later remarked ( off record) that he expected to win easily and said he'd sweep the QE2 track with his toothbrush if the GL got within a metre of him . The day's events kick off with a celebrity 3k run which quite frankly no one is interested in . Then follows a national relay record attempt featuring the GL in the White Hats team versus Michael T in the Black hats Team . This is a not to be missed spectacle as the GL is a specialist relay runner adept at stealing the limelight in what is usually considered a team event . Finally the major event will be the weight throw to decide the park running champion of the Southern Hemisphere . The GL versus Treesy ( the name he is known by behind his back ) . Certainly a mouth watering and salivating not to be missed spectacular . Only 3 sleeps to go . None for insomniacs . Get there early or better still go now and camp out by the track and claim a ring side seat .