07 July 2012

Dreadful

Feeling absolutely dreadful today, I had the worst constipation ever brought on by the drugs I have been taking. I was stuck in the toilet trying to pass a tree! It was moving and I was in agony I nearly passed out, what a palaver!
Had to call the wife, she a squeamish at the best of times,  She ran down to the Chemist to get these mini enemas, the first one didn't work as I think it just squirted straight out with no loosening effects, the second one I managed to administer whilst lying on my bed. Stayed still for a few minutes then felt Etna erupting, ran to the toilet and had to push I believe as hard as a lady giving birth! 
The pain was out of this world but managed to get the plug out followed by a gallon of liquid $hite, 
oh the relief! still feeling $hite but at least feeling I can live again!
Natalie was not too sympathetic she said after the birth of our 4th (Lily) she didn't go for a week!
My trouble was I wanted to go but couldn't push it out! It was like stuck there, I won't go further into the really gory details but I'm not taking those drugs again Chri$t almighty the pain was just not worth it!
Have a good weekend and hope I didn't spoil your lunch!
Cheers

2 comments:

Samurai Running said...

Nasty story! But don't worry about us reading it "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!" ;)

Get well soon.

coach dion said...

We really didn't need to know all of that, but since you told us we will have to give you our 2 cents worth of medical advice: Just go for a run... there is nothing like a run to loosen it all up... but just be ready to dive into the bushes... (I had to do that on Thursday Night in the dark and the rain...)