07 May 2014

The Hardened Correspondent!

Reevsey's comment following Minnippi was such a classic that it deserves full blogging rather than being left solely in the comments section!

"It is rare that this hardened sport's writer is moved to tears but it was difficult not to become emotional at a performance this morning of such sublimity , such tenacity and just such sheer raw courage that it is imprinted indelibly in the mind's eye of all who were privileged enough to witness it . This correspondent included . Of course the performance was owned by a person who needs no introduction on this blog . The man who made the humble Garmin a fashion statement . Countless millions around the world have traced the journey of this humble man from chimney sweep , to illegal alien to boat refugee and into our hearts all via Garmin connect . We have followed the adventures , trials and tribulations of this man , a pioneer no less , who has won our respect with a simple creed in life and a code of conduct which is to never forget your humble origins and always give of your best . The man known to us as Lord Garmin faced possibly the greatest challenge of his illustrious career today and responded as only champions can do. It was no secret that the knees this time were held together more with prayer than cartilage . His craggy features sun bleached and weathered . The hair a little thinner . A little greyer perhaps ? The torso a little more stooped than we remembered . Was Father Time ringing his relentless bell ? For whom did it toll ? Our hero ? The opposition was formidable for sure . For the most part far younger . Others disoriented and eccentric but none the less dangerous for that . The crowd who had for the most part come to see their hero stood ten deep in places . The sound of a lone bagpiper set a solemn tone . The morning air crisp but humid with expectation . The race started as such races do . A flourish of arms and limbs jockeying for an inch of advantage . A bare centimetre that could prove crucial at race's end . For the better part the race went to script . Until that was at the 3k mark , when our hero faltered ever so slightly . A greedy pack were on his tail eager to exploit any hesitancy . The heart was strong but was that slender slither of cartilage enough to hold out for one last time . The crowd looked on expectantly. Were they witnessing the demise of a champion ? Was the unthinkable about to become the unendurable ? Then a remarkable turnaround best captured by Lord Garmin himself when he related the incident to a hungry world media pack after the hysteria of the race had died away and tears wiped away . His Lordship takes up the story . " With a k to go I was shot . I realised my reign as world park running champion was drawing to a close . I could feel bone grinding on bone. The age graded pack circling in for the kill . Than for an instant I glimpsed the face of one of my countless supporters who had been camped out for days in those bitter fields of toxic waste and rotting mangroves. He was wheel chair bound and clutching a pathetically worn out Mr.Garmin doll . His face contorted in disbelief that I might lose . Tears welling in his eyes . I knew I had to find something . Not for myself but for those who believe in the Mr. Garmin story . The little people . Those who age grade in single digits . I had to do it for them ." Of course history now shows that our hero did find something . The results now etched in history. That slender fraction of an age graded percentage point that determines the great from the soon to be forgotten . For the record there were others in the race . A motley crew of pretenders . History will soon forget them . Minor actors in a play dominated by a giant of our times . Will we ever see his like again ? Probably not . He ascends into the ranks of the immortals . Those whose deeds grow taller over time with the telling of their story . More and more will claim to have been there that day and witnessed it first hand . Such is the stuff of legends . Some men leave us with memories others leave us with a legacy . All hail the GTrain . All hail the conquering hero . Will we see his likes again ? Probably not ." 

A super piece of writing Pete, very funny and much appreciated!

As for me, Winter has well and truly hit North Lakes! I was out yesterday in a long sleeve top that wasn't long enough to pull down onto my fists so my hands froze and it felt like I froze too but still ran 4;18's for 10.6. This morning I wasn't going to get caught again and wore a beaney on my head, compression tee shirt and a collared long sleeved jersey that I was able to pull over my hands! 4;19's for 10.6. Running Lake+Roo because it is pitch dark when I set off about 5;20am and have the benefit of street lighting around the lake before I hit the unlit section of Roo.
I have bought a cheap TT bike to see if it makes any difference to my speed. No point in spending thousands if the benefit is zilch and I ditch the idea of competing!
Appreciate that I need to do more cycling mileage as well.

Pete's 91.01% age grading went unrecognized in the Australian Rankings this week but safe to say he finished 2nd of the 8000+ runners who took part this week.
A disinterested Con, Dave Scroop, Pete, Me, Barry (wearing a Man City top!!)

The Garmin Lama award!

Lucky I ran a second quicker than Reevsey or my finger flick would be embarrassing!


A cheap column gossip said...

Lord Garmn has announced in an interview with Women's Mud Wrestling Weekly that he intends to link up with close friend and supporter , The Pelican ( known to most as TP) for a serious assault on the Duathlon master's circuit . After last Saturday's tour de force performance to retain his world number one park running ranking , the man fondly referred to as the Garmin Lama in Tibet , has signalled a change in priorities in the short term at least . " PT pointed out that my lack of speed on the cycle had nothing to do with a lack of heart or courage but had more to do with physics and levers . Basically he explained my legs were too short for effective cycling. I needed to find another six inches he said . The best way at my age is to have the troublesome lower legs removed and replaced with longer prosthetics . Lusty Lucy said size wasn't everything in a man but she would prefer a taller manager so I'll probably go ahead with the procedure . Fairly simple and straight forward . A chain saw and a few bolts should do it ." Certainly Lord Garmin and PT see eye to eye on the importance of having a keen interest in statistics and what some would see as trivial and boring detail . The Pelican also pointed out to the popular Scotsman that cast iron cycles were very much yesterday's technology and he needed to move with the times into the carbon fibre era and certainly discard his training wheels if he was to become more competitive . It will certainly be interesting to see how productive this new relationship will be , but one thing for certain is that the man known as the GTrain will focus world attention on what has been a Cinderella sport up to the present time devoid of household names and Holywood celebrities like no other mega sporting star can do .

Oversized Baggage said...

News just in has it that Lord Garmin has got hold of the bike that Oppy rode all those years ago, a genuine Malvern Star, made in a time when men were men and women did what they were told.

It is fitted with a candle lantern up front, and a dyno operated rear lamp, a most efficient device that robs you of so much speed that it has the rider travelling backwards through time.
This might have the effect of Lord Garmin regrowing his hair and his knees returning to their former glory.

Lord Garmin was heard to be very excited about his new purchase, pointing out that he does not need to carry a spare tube or repair kit given the bike is fitted with solid rubber tyres.

Will be interesting to see him down at the Nundah circuit, which will be renamed Garmin Park in his honour and is expected to be part of the Comedy circuit each time he is there training.

The one hit wonder said...

More intense investigation has uncovered a plot to get Lord Garmin off the Park Run circuit, and onto something irrelevant such as mud wrestling or duathlon, so all the fame and fortune of Park Running Age Group % can fall into the hands of the geriatric dribbler.

Large $$ have been offered to Lord Garmin to not only refrain from Park running, but a bonus has been made available if a new land speed record on a vintage bicycle is achieved.

Pelican press said...

Lord Garmin is pleased to announce that he will be the guest celebrity speaker at a book launching engagement for his friend the Pelican who has just released his keenly anticipated work titled , ' The Pelican : An Endangered Species .' Despite the book's Avarian title ,which is little more than a clever marketing ploy , the book is essentially an historical manuscript tracing the rise of this sport from total obscurity to one of at best a minimalist public profile essentially amongst a hardened core of fanatics keen to push a right wing political and ideological agenda and cause as much chaos to private and public transport as possible . The book also has many of what are described as' useful facts ' ( some seven hundred pages in total ) in regards to bike maintenance as well as technical information on a range of topics ranging from quantum physics to global warming and to what is the optimum tyre pressure for a mountain bike in zero gravity . The book is probably not one for the feint hearted but will no doubt find a niche market for those looking for a heavily weighted book that can double as an effective door stop as well as be a panacea for insomniacs . Lord Garmin's promotion of the book will ensure a healthy return for publishers but it is seen by others as a first tentative step to raise the profile of this marginal sport and bring it more to public attention , much as the larrikin Scotsman raised the public profile of park running to engage with a greater world wide audience .

Corporate watch dog said...

In a stunning and unprecedented coup for race organisers of the Queensland Government Corporate Games this Saturday , it has been announced that the celebrity guest international super star runner is none other than the world face of Garmin , Scotsman David McSweeney . The man known and worshipped in the east as the Garmin Lama and with a cult female following in the west has kept a low profile following his stunning defence of his world park running crown which has insured his elevation to the pantheon of the immortals of sport and seen him voted by the United Nations as a living World Treasure and global icon . The GTrain has tweeted that he has taken possession of a high performance carbon fibre cycle and this fact in combination with his taking on of the Pelican as a mentor has sent shock waves reverberating through the Cinderella sport of Duathlon in anticipation of a tsunami like assault by this gifted sportsman who challenges the frontiers of human endurance with a rare combination of flaming bagpipes and plain simple guts . Keep an eye on this blog to keep abreast of results .